A big thanks to Sarah for this wonderful Neil Gaiman article with him expertly talking about vampires.  That man is so smart.  And so right.  When did becoming the undead become to desirable?

Gaiman made a good point – that writing a story about vampires was the perfect way to talk about sex in the Victorian era without actually having to talk about sex.  Vampires were evil creatures that seduced helpless young women.  They weren’t something to lust after.  They were something to be feared.  They could steal your innocence  *shock*

Prior to Dracula, forget the fangirls after Edward.  Those blood-sucking things were demonic and the pure essence of evil.  You knew what you were getting into with those guys.  All you had to do was look at them and you’d run away screaming.  Bram Stoker made the vampire more appealing, and all that more dangerous.  Dracula wasn’t supposed to be the undead James Bond that all the ladies wanted.  He really was the wolf in sheep’s clothing, making him all the more evil.  Now you’re not able to tell the difference between the bad and the good.  The evil blends in and you’re far too late when you realize you’ve made a grave mistake.

Alas, Gaiman used my beloved Lost Boys as the sort of catalyst that turned vampires from demons into poster boys you pinned up on your wall and sighed over.  Ok, so maybe that’s a little true.  The Lost Boys sexed up vampires even more.  They made them desirable.  You wanted to be one of them.  And what did you have to lose?  Just sunlight?  Sure, I can give that up!  I get to be immortally pretty!  Yay!  Who needs a soul?

And then they kept morphing into these brooding emo boys that wear guyliner and are forever tortured.  They turned into shelter dogs.

You know, maybe Gaiman’s right.  Maybe this is the end of the cycle and vampires will go back underground where they belong to fester and mutate back into their former selves.  Maybe they’re sick of being emasculated and want nothing more to do with the fangirls and moping.

We can only hope.  You know, I love my Lost Boys.  I love my Near Dark.  I even like my Interview with the Vampire.  But you can have your emo boys with snap-on fangs.  Louis was as far as I wanted to take it, and that’s saying something.  They’re morphed too far and it’s time for vampires to go back into their cocoons for a little while.  They need their beauty sleep.