Are we that inept as a country that we are incapable of feeding ourselves nominally healthy food so we have to rely on fast food joints to dole out the calories for us?  First it was Subway and Jared and him losing two and a half people by eating Subway three times a day.  Nevermind how you could have saved all that money by just walking down to the grocery store, buying those same exact ingredients and make those salads and sandwiches and wraps on your own.  No.  You have to do it through Subway or you won’t do it right.

Then it was McDonald’s because Morgan Spurlock handed them their own deep-fried ass with Supersize Me so they felt the need to get health conscious.  Apple slices and milk with Happy Meals.  A variety of salads and yogurt (nevermind that yogurt cup thing is like eleventy-billion calories and you’re better off eating the non-biodegradable french fries).  You want to eat healthy and feel like paying triple the price for a quarter of an apple?  Come to McDonald’s.

Now it’s Taco Bell.  I kid you not.  Now they have a Drive-Thru Diet (per their ad, not a weight loss program) with their own female Jared (only she’s in a bikini) saying how much weight she’s lost by eating these “lower” calorie foods from Taco Bell.  So it’s one of the most ambiguous commercials ever and she rightly could eat Taco Bell once a month for all it matters.  The point is, she was able to eat Taco Bell and lose weight.  The correlation doesn’t have to be huge.  It just has to exist.  Wonderful.  Now people are going to go into Taco Bell and order off of the “smaller ass” menu but top it off with a bucket of soda, those twisty crunchy cinnamon things and a Gordita and wonder why their secretary butt is getting bigger.  Just great.  Well, Taco Bell does have a tendency of balancing itself out.  I mean, how many of those calories and grams of fat can you possibly absorb when you’re rocketing the entire meal out of your bum a half hour later?