It literally just dawned on me as I was reading something in first person.  Just now.  Like I’m not reading a book in first as we speak but that’s besides the point.  Sometimes things take a little while for me.

I don’t like using first person POV because, reading it, it sounds absolutely ridiculous.  When I snap into writer mode, I’m looking at first person and going, is that how the character is really thinking?  “Sun rays danced across the ground like faeries in a circle.”  Really?  If I think that way then I can’t help but think of the Family Guy episode where Peter narrates his own life.  Equally as ridiculous.

If it’s not thought presently but maybe the MC relaying information after the fact, then they really talk like that?  Really?  Star-freckled skies?  Really?

It just doesn’t make sense to me.  First person is as intimate as you can get with a character.  You’re literally inside their brains as they’re going through the story.  When they’re going through the actions, do they really think all of that in such a verbose way?  Really?

When I snap out of writer mode, it’s fine and some damn good writing.  Of course I can read through it just fine.  But writer mode keeps poking through the screen going WTF?!

Maybe I’m being way too technical here.  First person is inside the character’s head.  In the character’s voice.  Sometimes I can’t help but think what pretentious asses characters are when they spout off internally like that.  At the same time the same thing could be said for third person limited.  Sort of.  You’re not in the head there.  More like on it.  Same character voice but you’re not squishing the brain.

I mean, dialogue is one thing but when people shut their mouths, you have to wonder what’s running through their heads and if it’s anywhere near as loquacious as some of these first person narratives make them out to be.  I have a hard time believing they all are but writers have to stretch their creative fingers somehow, right?  I just have a hard time believing even fictional characters are running that high all the time.