So I want to get my entry ready before January 25th for Amazon since they’re only going to be accepting the first 5,000 entries for each portion of the contest.  Aside from the manuscript (duh), I need a hook.  I hate these things.  There’s nothing that sucks more than condensing 55,000 words into 100-word catching summary.  Why not just rake my body with rusty nails while you’re at it?

So I’ve started putting a hook together.  I’ve got a sentence.  Sort of.  I’m still rewording it, working it around, because it’s not sitting right with me.  I think it’s the goo gun part.  But I just don’t think it’s snappy enough.  What do you think?  Would this lure you in?  Or at least intrigue you?

It’s just another earthquake until Sylfaerie Stallone pistol-whips someone with a goo gun.

I feel it’s a little too wordy.  Not a lot.  Just a little.  Is it ‘goo gun?’  ‘Someone?’  Should Sylfaerie just bring the beat on instead of pistol-whipping?  But I like pistol-whip.  I want tight.  Like spandex on a fat person.  Help!