Tag-Archive for » twilight «
Ok, yeah, since I’m still studying for my exam on Saturday and I’m trudging through Spine-Breaking Spawn, expect more commentary. As if you’d expect any less.
So, I’d like to know the defining argument behind the Twihards’ support of the notion that Bella doesn’t have just Edward in her life. She has friends outside of him. Really, I think the proof is in the very wedding.
Bella’s marrying Edward. Big shocker there. Who’s helping her get ready? Alice. And for a nanosecond Rosalie (who probably put Nair in her hair). That’s it. Who’s in Bella’s wedding party? Just Alice, her very-soon-to-be sister-in-law. That’s it. Now I’m not saying you have to be like my guinea family and have 47 bridesmaids, 18 matrons of honor and 12 flower girls to be considered surrounded by loved ones but am I the only one that sees the pathetickness of this? Not even ever mom helped her get ready on her wedding day. Her mom. One, what does that say about Bella’s flake of a mother and two, what does that say about Bella’s insistence on cutting everyone but Edward and the rest of the Cullen clan out of her life so she can live how she wants with her love?
Since we’re on her mom, miss “don’t you dare end up like me and get married young” turns out to be all giddy when 18 year old Bella tells her she’s getting married. Riiiiiiiiiiight. So I take it this is the start of the about face these characters go through, right? Everything for Bella, right?
But back to the wedding. No one but Alice in the wedding party, no one but Alice helping her to prepare, spending the night before alone and in her room and this is healthy? This is a good thing that Bella has absolutely no one else in her life except Edward? I mean the proof’s right there. Right there. How can the Twihards insist otherwise? Yeah, yeah, Jacob makes a cameo at the reception but he doesn’t really count, now does he? Not in the friend department. Not when she only uses him as a substitute Edward with his own heating system.
And I’m actually kind of peeved Meyer completely skipped over the sex scene. Not because I wanted to see Edward schmex, but because it would have been amazing character development and a chance to actually dig a little deeper into both of them. But no. Of course not. Why would Meyer want to do anything that even imitates writing technique and forfeit the Mary Sue and her epitome of perfection? We don’t need to get any deeper. This is as deep as it gets!
We still have no idea why they love each other like they say they do. There’s no proof that Edward finds Bella anything other than “beautiful” and “nice smelling” and no proof she sees anything more than Edward’s good looks in him. Yeah. Deep.
This is a great video with teenagers debating which series is better, Harry Potter or Twilight. Just compare the arguments of both sides and see if you came to the same conclusion I did.
Before we get to the good stuff, a tiny rant. Hopefully.
So I’ve just started reading Spine-Breaking Spawn (you might know it as Breaking Dawn) and I have a bad feeling this one’s going to draaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag. I zoomed through the first three back to back. Now that I’ve had months to sit and simmer about how much I’d love to light Bella on fire, I’m sneering by page two.
Speshul snowflake syndrome is immediate with Bella in her shiny new car that Edward gave her as a pre-wedding present. And, of course, everyone’s staring at it. Everyone. Duh. So I’m wondering what it is and my cynical self is thinking a Corolla on steroids or something for all the town’s worth. Yeah, I wasn’t that far off. It’s a Mercedes. How podunk is Forks that everyone stops and gawks at a Mercedes as if they’ve never seen one before? It’s not a Bentley or an Aston Martin or a Bugati. No. A Mercedes. And it’s supposed to be some sooper dooper Mercedes too that so totally isn’t available yet anywhere in the world but of course Edward got it for his prisoner/fiancee. Because she can’t wipe her own ass without tearing out a piece of her colon, the thing’s retrofitted with iron plates and it actually IED-proof. And weights 4,000 pounds. Ok, this isn’t an SUV. It’s a sedan. Hatchback (I think). A sedan. That weighs 4,000 pounds. That thing must suck a half tank of gas every ten feet. I don’t think the old ‘57 Chevys weighed that much and those things were solid steel. So she’s driving a Hitler-approved tank. Awesome.
And of course it just wouldn’t be part of the Twitard world without numerous-yet-similar adjectives describing just how gorgeous and angelic Edward is and how sweet his vampire blood breath smells. Yak. Dude, I’m on, like, page 20. This is so not going to be good. I’ve already picked a corresponding video clip for the spine-breaking spawn part. I heart YouBoob.
Now onto the good part. This is where I was on Saturday night. Share my love with me as we gather round the warm glowing warming glow of the computer screen and listen to Dr. Denis Leary croon–
The leak for this unfinished book happened at least six months ago, if memory serves me correctly. Maybe back in August or September, something like that. And it’s still being talked about. Apparently fans were optimistic that Meyer would put the shenanigans behind her and finish writing the book. The fans knew it was being written and were jonsing for some more Edward love.
Nein. According to the Daily News, nothing’s changed. It’s on hold indefinitely and she’s still licking her wounds about how much of a violation of her work and trust that leak was. Would I be pissed if my first draft manuscript was leaked? You bet. Then again I’m not going to walk around a set of the movie based on the first book in my series and pass out unfinished first drafts of my fifth manuscript like sticks of gum either. But that’s just me.
Does she not see that she made a really stupid move doing that? I can understand a newbie writer doing that. They’re overanxious, want people to read it and hand it out to anyone that says yes. But this happened last year. Twilight first came out in 2005. The fourth book in the series, Breaking Dawn, was either just about to come out or had just come out. This could not be passed off as newbie naivety. So what was she thinking? And it’s someone else’s fault for the leak when she handed out these manuscripts to people she didn’t rightly know and couldn’t rightly trust?
If I were so desperate to keep the contents of my book a secret, I’d do everything I could to prevent leaks. Rowling was able to do it with Deathly Hallows (I believe, I don’t remember a leak for that one). It seems to be working out ok for Suzanne Collins. So . . . I fail to see the need for the hissy fit on Meyer’s part. I guess this can be chalked up to yet another one of her instances of externalizing her flaws.
And I’ve read bits and pieces of that manuscript (it’s on her website, to her chagrin, because she doesn’t want people seeking out the illegal copy), along with other first draft pieces she’s put on her site and while she says they’re messy and full of errors, I honestly don’t see much of a difference between the quality of those first draft pieces and the final products. Judge for yourself on that one. Check out her website (www.stepheniemeyer.com) and compare. I know I’m not alone there.
Side Note–OMG my egg hatched! He’s a little dragon! Click him to help me raise him. He’ll die if you don’t. Do you want that on your shoulders? And yay for the psycho-fastness of Barnes and Noble shipping! My copy of Why We Suck by Dr. Denis Leary arrived today. My lord and savior, I have thee in book form.
USATODAY named Stephenie Meyer author of the year. Why, you ask? Good question. I have no idea. Nor do I have any idea why she would approve such a god horrible picture to be released of her. She had to approve that picture, you know that, right? Was no one able to tell her that only people weighing less than 80 pound can pull off an upshot like that? Eek!
Anyway, I’m trying to figure out what renders Meyer suitable for author of the year, because it certainly isn’t the writing. Not in this case anyway. Yes, she has something that keeps you reading. I don’t know if anyone knows what that something is, but that’s all she has going for her in the writing department. I’ve seen better written prose out of a ten-year-old.
People say she revolutionized the YA market. Nope. Sorry. JK Rowling beat her to it years ago and with much higher quality work. So stop. There’s just no comparing. Harry Potter is something that will be filed into the “classic children’s literature” category 30 years from now while no one will even remember what Twilight was. At least I can severely hope.
Before focusing on the novels of MT Anderson, this article makes a very valid point about teen reading. Don’t underestimate it.
Now, the title to my blog post is slightly skewed as what Anderson is pointing out is the intelligence of teenagers and how they don’t need separate books whereas I’m saying don’t underestimate the genre. But I think the two go hand in hand, you think?
Do not underestimate teens. I think that’s the crux of the argument and the rest is just details. No, they haven’t lived as long as you and no, they don’t have the worldly experiences you do but that doesn’t mean they need their works stripped down to simplicity to understand. Do I think teens need their own book category just for them? No. I read Interview with the Vampire (please don’t sue me) when I was 11. I also knew how to mummify a corpse when I was ten. So no, it’s not necessary.
But not every teen is an advanced reader and if we didn’t have that middle ground between middle grade and adult, kids would be going from Goosebumps to Stephen King. Some do not have that kind of reading capacity. Others do. That’s also not to say YA is for the slower readers. Bite me if you think that. The majority of my TBR pile is YA. It fits my patience level. But it provides a stepping stone. For those that run screaming from a novel that’s 600 pages in an 8 point font with a 3 millimeter margin (me), there’s the equally stimulating but much fat-trimmed YA.
So, I ask again, do teens in general need their own category of books? No. But the pre-teens do. As do the teens that just don’t want to read mainstream adult fiction. Or the adults with the short attention spans that enjoy reading without the pomp and meandering. It’s like taking a stair or two out of your staircase. It’s still manageable walking up and I’m sure a lot of people could do it, but there are those that can’t, or those that simply don’t want to. YA is a stepping stone. While all teens don’t read it, many (and many younger readers, and older) do so I don’t think it’s an obsolete category.
Aside from the fact that I *heart* Photoshop, I’m still trying to figure out why they based movie!Edward on Derek Zoolander. I mean, I know Derek and Edward share the same credo and while I don’t think Edward would ever be the type to eugooglize, the similarities are eerie.
It makes one wonder, was Edward ever a male model? Has he ever lost friends in gasoline play? Does he know Mugatu? Is James’s name really Hansel?
I know the merchandising for this insanity isn’t above copyright infringement but have the movie makers really dipped into the Zoolander plot? Is Carlisle really nothing more than a coal miner that doesn’t favor Edward but in fact is ashamed of him because of his male modeling career? Only, of course, for Edward to be redeemed when he’s finally able to turn left and whip out the illustrious Magnum.
Is Bella really a journalist capable of breaking down the walls around sweatshop manufacturing in Malaysia and works for Time magazine? O_o Ok, maybe not. But Edward . . .
