I Just Don’t Feel Like It Right Now

I’m in a bit of a writing malaise at the moment.  I WANT to write but lately when I’ve gotten to my normal allowed writing time I’ve found myself wanting to do something mindless or just wanting to sleep.  This could be because of a myriad of things.

  1. We adopted a couple of kittens a few weeks ago and they’re incredibly time-consuming.  Less so now that we don’t have to watch them constantly anymore but still, they’re incorrigible and still require a fair amount of DON’T DO THAT that I’m not otherwise used to.  It’s exhausting.  And I’m tired.
  2. I got a promotion at work and it’s causing a bit more of a drain during the day so that by the evening I’m spent.  (Really, this one’s just making excuses.  I think this coupled with the kittens may be doing it but the promotion alone isn’t really taxing on me outside of work.)
  3. I just had to travel for work.  It’s the farthest I’ve traveled since moving to Arizona, the most number of time zones warped and when I wasn’t in office visits I was driving across a rather flat, saucepan-looking state.  Travel is exhausting for me, just not in a jet lag sort of way.  Throw it into the last three weeks and I feel like I’ve been constantly going.
  4. I have a “pleasure” trip to San Diego coming up next weekend.  I say “pleasure” because while I don’t have to actually work it is a wedding planning trip and we have so many appointments and there are so many MAJOR elements that are being decided on this trip that I just can’t fit anything else in my head at the moment.  (I think this one is really what’s doing it.  Everything else piled on top of it just overstuffs my head.)  My head’s so full that when Steve started talking about welcome bags I had to stop him.  We have wedding hotel, rehearsal dinner venue, baker, ceremony site, photographer, and day-of coordinator decisions being made on this trip.  Welcome bags can go stuff themselves right now, as far as I’m concerned.

So I’m TIRED.  As much as I’m looking forward to a long weekend in San Diego it’ll be a hump that I’ll be glad to get over.  It’s the last of the BIG wedding decisions we need to make and nearly everything that comes after it is details.  I can handle details.  And I can handle this trip.  But I have sand coming out of my gills at the moment.  Granted, poor us having to cake taste and eat at glorious restaurants in our decision-making process.  How awful, I know.  And at least we’re not so wall-to-wall that there won’t be any down time.  Just not as much as I would like on a so-called vacation.

Right now, as much as I want to write, as much as the story is knocking around inside my head to get out, my dome piece is like an overstuffed closest right now.  I need to get some shit out and once that’s done I should be okay to carry on.  The kittens are growing so they should become less of a time hassle, work doesn’t actually bleed into my personal time and I only have one two-day trip back east for work (that’s immediately followed by 7 days totally off), a three day conference in Vegas (poor thing, I know), and one day trip up to Denver and that’s the last of my travel for the year.  Really, that’s not a lot of travel in the grander scheme of work travel.  And wedding details, I think, will ground me.  Getting shit booked is what’s seeping my life force right now.  Until then for the love of god, don’t open the closest door if you know what’s good for you.

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